1
00:00:05,527 --> 00:00:09,618
It is sad, but you've
picked a wonderful place to die.
2
00:00:09,748 --> 00:00:11,141
This is the library.
3
00:00:11,272 --> 00:00:13,578
There are many fine works
of literature to peruse,
4
00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:15,232
but of course we are limited
5
00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:17,887
to whatever
the Livings are perusing
6
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,107
because of our inability
7
00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:22,326
to interact with
the physical world.
8
00:00:23,719 --> 00:00:25,721
Yeah, this being a ghost thing
is wild.
9
00:00:25,851 --> 00:00:27,636
Oh, and that big Viking guy
10
00:00:27,766 --> 00:00:29,768
was telling me something about
ghost powers.
11
00:00:29,942 --> 00:00:31,553
Do you have one of those?
12
00:00:33,729 --> 00:00:35,383
No.
13
00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:36,732
There she is.
14
00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:37,820
So it's true.
15
00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:39,778
Um, hello.
16
00:00:39,909 --> 00:00:42,738
I'm Nigel,
and this is Creepy Dirk.
17
00:00:42,868 --> 00:00:44,218
We live in the basement.
18
00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:46,829
We're kind of the social elite
of the house.
19
00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:50,180
So, are you dating anyone yet?
20
00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:51,573
I died two days ago.
21
00:00:51,703 --> 00:00:53,531
There's always
a bit of a feeding frenzy
22
00:00:53,662 --> 00:00:55,229
when a new ghost arrives.
23
00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:59,146
Welcome. I'm Baxter, of
the Revolutionary shed ghosts.
24
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,365
I hear you're a musician.
25
00:01:01,496 --> 00:01:03,063
Which is something
we have in common.
26
00:01:03,193 --> 00:01:05,152
I play the fife.
27
00:01:05,282 --> 00:01:06,501
Oh, that's nice.
28
00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:07,980
ISAAC [chuckling]:
Okay, well,
29
00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:10,679
now the competition's grown
too intense.
30
00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:13,290
So it would be pointless for me
to throw my hat into the ring
31
00:01:13,377 --> 00:01:15,858
at this late date.
32
00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:17,729
Darn! Darn!
33
00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:20,732
Anyway, may the best man win.
34
00:01:22,778 --> 00:01:24,127
Isn't he...
35
00:01:24,214 --> 00:01:26,390
- Oh, yeah.
- Big-time.
- Very much so.
36
00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:33,658
Jay, we're helping Trevor
brainstorm
37
00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:35,660
some gift ideas for his boss.
38
00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:37,575
If you were turning 50,
what would you want?
39
00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:39,403
Batman action figure,
40
00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:41,710
specifically
the 1966 Marx Bendable Batman.
41
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,190
Did it shrivel
your desire for him,
42
00:01:43,364 --> 00:01:45,322
how quickly he came up
with that?
43
00:01:45,496 --> 00:01:47,237
Okay, you don't ask nerd boy
for help picking out a gift
44
00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:49,196
for a finance baller like Brett.
45
00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:51,502
I need to get this right.
46
00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:52,590
The pressure is on.
47
00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:54,766
This is for my boss!
48
00:01:54,853 --> 00:01:57,421
Gifts are tricky,
particularly for your superiors.
49
00:01:57,508 --> 00:01:59,293
One time, a butler gifted me
a silk scarf,
50
00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:02,122
and it actually earned him
a pay cut.
51
00:02:02,296 --> 00:02:04,254
He should not be able
to afford a silk scarf.
52
00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:06,822
Exactly. You don't want
to come on too strong,
53
00:02:06,952 --> 00:02:08,824
or you'll be perceived
as a kiss-ass.
54
00:02:08,954 --> 00:02:10,739
But you can't go too cheap,
55
00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:13,045
like when Sam got Jay's mom
that beer cozy.
56
00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:16,658
That was supposed to be ironic.
57
00:02:16,832 --> 00:02:18,529
Because she drinks tea.
58
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:21,010
Oh, so the joke is that
it's useless to her. Good one.
59
00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:23,404
Ooh! What about a jaguar?
60
00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:26,233
I think a car is
coming on too strong.
61
00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:28,626
What? No, I'm talking
about the animal.
62
00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:32,064
Once trained,
jaguars make excellent pets.
63
00:02:32,195 --> 00:02:34,545
Though not
for the postal carrier.
64
00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:36,939
Your jaguar attacked
your mailman?
65
00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:38,245
Okay, that's got to be Hetty.
66
00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:40,856
Let me guess:
They're also delicious to eat.
67
00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:44,381
A little gamy, actually,
for my taste.
68
00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:47,863
But their skulls make
handsome cocaine bowls.
69
00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:49,386
Maybe one of those.
70
00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:51,345
It's not too expensive,
and-and it's thoughtful,
71
00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:53,477
given what you've said
about your boss's predilections.
72
00:02:53,564 --> 00:02:55,392
Yeah, sure.
Sam, can you run over to Target,
73
00:02:55,479 --> 00:02:57,525
see if they have
any jaguar skull cocaine bowls
74
00:02:57,655 --> 00:02:59,353
left in stock?
75
00:02:59,483 --> 00:03:02,573
See? This discussion
was fruitful after all.
76
00:03:02,704 --> 00:03:04,053
What you doing?
77
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,098
I'm waiting for Pete
to get back.
78
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,840
He went to Jamaica to see if
any of my relatives are ghosts.
79
00:03:08,971 --> 00:03:11,843
Pete also cross ocean for Thor,
but much further.
80
00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:13,671
Greater risk he disappear.
81
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:16,413
- What's your point?
- Just that Thor special, too.
82
00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:17,632
Okay.
83
00:03:17,719 --> 00:03:19,503
Howdy!
84
00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:22,027
Uhp, pardon me, I'm a little
shorthanded.
85
00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:23,768
Oh, Pete, you're back!
86
00:03:23,942 --> 00:03:26,206
Glad you back from Jamaica,
87
00:03:26,336 --> 00:03:27,511
which is much closer
than Norway.
88
00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:29,165
So, tell me everything.
89
00:03:29,296 --> 00:03:31,950
How was your trip?
Did you locate any of my family?
90
00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:33,387
As a matter of fact, I did.
91
00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:35,127
Your grandmother, Hortense,
is a ghost.
92
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,868
- Oh, my God. You talked to her?
- Yep.
93
00:03:36,999 --> 00:03:38,696
She is a peach of a lady.
94
00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:41,133
And she has a message for you.
Do you want me to do her accent?
95
00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:42,961
- No.
- Copy that.
96
00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:45,007
Well, she was thrilled to learn
that you're a singer.
97
00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:46,748
She still remembers you
as a three-year-old
98
00:03:46,922 --> 00:03:49,620
belting out spirituals
on a summer Sunday.
99
00:03:49,751 --> 00:03:51,970
Alberta, she was just beaming
with pride about you.
100
00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:54,582
I'm touched that you would
do this for me.
101
00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:57,367
- Honestly, I'm getting
a little choked up.
- Aw, yeah.
102
00:03:57,498 --> 00:03:59,108
Donna thought
you might react that way.
103
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,763
I'm sorry, what? You saw Donna?
104
00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:03,939
Your ex-girlfriend Donna?
105
00:04:04,026 --> 00:04:05,070
Yeah, yeah.
I was in the neighborhood,
106
00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:06,333
so I thought, "Why not?"
107
00:04:06,463 --> 00:04:08,335
Yeah. Why not?
108
00:04:08,465 --> 00:04:10,946
Because they used to
have intercourse.
109
00:04:11,033 --> 00:04:13,165
- Could be awkward.
- Oh, come on.
110
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,342
We're just friends.
It's not awkward at all.
111
00:04:15,516 --> 00:04:16,821
If you say so.
112
00:04:16,952 --> 00:04:19,998
Uh, Sam? We got to talk.
113
00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:22,653
Oh. Trevor just came in
looking concerned.
114
00:04:22,827 --> 00:04:25,047
Well, I settled on a
birthday gift for my boss Brett,
115
00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:27,484
and it did not go over
how I'd hoped.
116
00:04:27,615 --> 00:04:29,834
- What'd you get him?
- It's called a stripper-gram.
117
00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:31,619
Oh, my God.
118
00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:33,751
Trevor got Brett a stripper-gram
for his birthday.
119
00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:37,189
The Brettinator?
I bet he loved that, right?
120
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,280
He did. It's just,
Human Resources did not.
121
00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:43,631
Okay, I'm taking from context
clues that a stripper-gram
122
00:04:43,805 --> 00:04:45,372
is like a telegram,
123
00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:47,591
but the message is delivered
by some sort of harlot.
124
00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:49,854
She was dressed
as an HVAC repairwoman.
125
00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:52,422
The bit being that she felt
it was so hot in Brett's office
126
00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:54,424
that she could not perform
her duties clothed.
127
00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:56,208
Forget the stripping,
I'm hooked on the plot.
128
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,863
Apparently, stupid Linda
from accounting happened by,
129
00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:00,909
reported the whole thing.
130
00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:03,564
Didn't even let Candi
get to the big finish.
131
00:05:03,651 --> 00:05:06,131
So what does this mean?
Are you fired?
132
00:05:06,262 --> 00:05:08,220
Not exactly, but it's bad.
133
00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:11,006
HR wants to see me tomorrow,
in person.
134
00:05:11,136 --> 00:05:12,660
But you can't go in person.
135
00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:14,618
And even if you could,
they could not see you.
136
00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:18,535
HR wants to see Trevor tomorrow,
in New York, in person.
137
00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:19,841
Okay.
138
00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:21,756
This is simple.
139
00:05:21,886 --> 00:05:24,933
Young Jay must simply redon
his persona of Michael Jackson,
140
00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:27,588
which he did so successfully at
the work retreat at Woodstone,
141
00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:30,025
and head into the city
in Trevor's stead.
142
00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:31,243
The ghosts are saying...
143
00:05:31,374 --> 00:05:32,636
I know what they're saying, Sam.
144
00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:35,857
They want me to get chewed out
by HR on Trevor's behalf.
145
00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:37,075
Well, guess what.
146
00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:39,034
I'm not doing it!
147
00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:40,252
Uh, Jay...
148
00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:42,342
No, don't "Jay" me, okay?
149
00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:43,821
It's a nonstarter.
150
00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:45,910
What do I care
if a ghost lost their job?
151
00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:48,522
Frankly, I think it's weird
that a ghost has a job at all,
152
00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:50,785
and I don't think
that's a controversial opinion!
153
00:05:50,915 --> 00:05:52,787
Are you gonna tell him
or should I, Sam?
154
00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:56,486
The thing is, we're sort of--
how do I put this?--
155
00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:59,271
uh, dependent on Trevor's salary
156
00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:01,143
to stay financially solvent.
157
00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:03,232
Excuse me?
158
00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:06,061
It's just, we've encountered
so many unexpected expenses,
159
00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:07,802
and I tried to make
the numbers work,
160
00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:09,499
but the math
wasn't mathing, Jay.
161
00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:11,719
So No Pants has been
keeping us afloat?
162
00:06:11,849 --> 00:06:14,069
Ironic for a guy who was fished
out of the bottom of a lake.
163
00:06:14,199 --> 00:06:15,375
I wanted to tell you,
164
00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:18,160
but I also didn't want
to stress you out.
165
00:06:18,290 --> 00:06:19,466
You've been working so hard,
166
00:06:19,596 --> 00:06:21,381
trying to get the restaurant
up and running.
167
00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:23,600
But what about the list?
We-we got on the list.
168
00:06:23,731 --> 00:06:25,515
And it's helping some.
We're getting busier,
169
00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:28,083
and that's great momentum
that we need to build on.
170
00:06:28,213 --> 00:06:30,477
But we're not profitable yet.
171
00:06:30,607 --> 00:06:32,914
What about your book?
You were a stocking stuffer.
172
00:06:33,088 --> 00:06:35,525
And again, that's great,
but it's not exactly a windfall.
173
00:06:35,612 --> 00:06:37,484
I mean, most authors
also have a day job.
174
00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:38,702
Candi's an author.
175
00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:40,748
It's absolute smut
but well told.
176
00:06:40,878 --> 00:06:42,619
So, wh-what are you saying, Sam?
177
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:46,928
I'm saying we won't need
Trevor's money, eventually.
178
00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:49,278
But if we want to make it
to summer,
179
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:52,020
we got to save Trevor's job.
180
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,677
Looks like Michael Jackson
is going to HR.
181
00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:04,380
Let me ask you guys something.
182
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,164
Do you think it's okay for
someone to make a special trip
183
00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:08,036
to see their ex when
they're dating someone else?
184
00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:10,430
It wasn't a special trip.
I was in the neighborhood.
185
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,519
Is Saint Lucia in the
neighborhood, though?
186
00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:14,172
I'm not a geography expert,
187
00:07:14,346 --> 00:07:15,870
but I feel like
you have to go out of your way.
188
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,959
Well, you know, the Caribbean
isn't that big of a place.
189
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:21,049
Caribbean Islands span over
thousand miles east to west.
190
00:07:21,136 --> 00:07:22,790
You know that because of
your Viking voyages?
191
00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:24,356
No.
192
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:26,620
Captain Sandy sailed ship
out of Antigua,
193
00:07:26,707 --> 00:07:28,535
season eight, Below Deck.
194
00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:31,320
Reality TV is a fount of wisdom.
It doesn't get enough credit.
195
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,540
Donna and I are just friends.
196
00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:35,193
It's still weird.
She might be into you.
197
00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:37,674
But I'm not into her,
so it doesn't matter.
198
00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:40,329
Okay, well, that
British shed ghost Baxter and I
199
00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:42,287
had a thing back in '29.
200
00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:44,681
Would it bother you
if he and I started hanging out?
201
00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:46,204
As friends, of course.
202
00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:48,163
I was there when they met.
203
00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:49,947
It was love at first fife.
204
00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:52,297
Actually, "love" is
a bit of an overstatement.
205
00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:54,517
I needed it
for the turn of phrase.
206
00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:56,867
You know what?
207
00:07:56,954 --> 00:07:58,739
I-I think if you wanted
to catch up with your ex Baxter,
208
00:07:58,869 --> 00:07:59,870
I would be fine with it.
209
00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:01,742
Okay.
210
00:08:01,872 --> 00:08:03,918
"Okay," like we're good
and that's the end of it?
211
00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:05,485
Yep.
212
00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:11,447
Thor not think
that the end of it.
213
00:08:13,405 --> 00:08:15,756
Okay, Trevor is gonna give you
a crash course
214
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:18,410
in everything you need to know
about your character:
215
00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:20,761
Michael Jackson,
financial analyst.
216
00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:22,545
What the hell is my life?
217
00:08:22,676 --> 00:08:25,113
Born on the outskirts
of the Motor City...
218
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:26,636
I don't think we have time
219
00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:28,464
to go through
the entire backstory, Trevor.
220
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:30,118
Yeah, maybe just give me
the must-knows.
221
00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:31,685
Okay.
222
00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:34,165
First of all,
there's a major flirtation
223
00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:35,689
with my coworker Maggie,
224
00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:37,995
who you know from
the work retreat we had here.
225
00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:40,824
So, there's a flirtatious thing
going on with Maggie.
226
00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:42,696
But he says
to keep it respectful.
227
00:08:42,826 --> 00:08:44,175
No, I didn't.
228
00:08:44,306 --> 00:08:46,700
Trust me, Maggie does not
appreciate respectful.
229
00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:48,049
Wait, time-out, Sam.
230
00:08:48,179 --> 00:08:49,790
Why do I need to know
any of this?
231
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:52,793
I'm just going to ask HR
to forgive Michael Jackson
232
00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:54,925
for sending his boss
a stripper-gram.
233
00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:57,624
Okay, but you're going
into the lion's den, baby.
234
00:08:57,798 --> 00:09:00,017
You have no idea
who you're gonna meet,
235
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,497
and you need to be prepared.
236
00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:03,020
Also, can you find out
what happened
237
00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:03,978
with Candi and the HVAC?
238
00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:06,154
I am dying to know.
239
00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:07,503
He says that
you just need to be ready,
240
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:09,244
in case you run into anybody.
241
00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:10,811
Okay. Continue.
242
00:09:10,941 --> 00:09:13,378
So, if he runs into
anybody on my team,
243
00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:15,685
this is definitely
gonna come up.
244
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,471
Okay.
245
00:09:19,646 --> 00:09:21,299
Michael Jackson is
currently closing a deal
246
00:09:21,473 --> 00:09:23,214
for the McDaniels Corporation,
who makes soap,
247
00:09:23,301 --> 00:09:25,782
to acquire the McCallister
Corporation, who makes sponges.
248
00:09:25,913 --> 00:09:28,045
Now, McDaniels is
offering 30 million,
249
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:29,699
but McCallister wants 40,
250
00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:31,396
but Trevor thinks
you'll close at 35
251
00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:34,225
and then celebrate
at Peter Luger's with the CEOs,
252
00:09:34,312 --> 00:09:36,967
Conan McDaniels
and Galen McCallister.
253
00:09:37,098 --> 00:09:39,491
Sam, I'm not gonna remember
any of that.
254
00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:40,797
Also, I told them
I could moonwalk,
255
00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:42,886
so make sure
Jay is prepared for that.
256
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:44,671
- Seriously?
- What?
257
00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:47,064
How are your moonwalking skills?
258
00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:49,327
Not good, Sam.
259
00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:51,416
Not good!
260
00:09:51,547 --> 00:09:53,462
Well, it is really good
261
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,985
to catch up with you, Baxter.
262
00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:58,859
Hey, guys.
What's, uh, going on in here?
263
00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:01,992
Oh, just hanging out
with a friend,
264
00:10:02,123 --> 00:10:03,298
doing a little catching up.
265
00:10:03,472 --> 00:10:04,778
- You okay with that?
- Of course.
266
00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:06,518
Yeah, two friends catching up.
267
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:08,956
What could be more wholesome
or totally okay than that?
268
00:10:09,086 --> 00:10:12,176
It's just, we have so much
in common, Alberta and I.
269
00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:14,788
For instance,
the whole music thing.
270
00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:16,224
Right.
271
00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:17,791
You know, I played
a mean oboe in my day.
272
00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:20,707
That's nice, although I died
with my instrument,
273
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:23,492
- so it's sort of
a different kettle of fish.
- Mm.
274
00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:25,668
Well, good for you.
275
00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:29,585
Ha! You remind me
of my flatmate Jenkins.
276
00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:31,805
He's always saying that.
277
00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:32,893
"Goody for you."
278
00:10:33,023 --> 00:10:35,112
Oh, my God!
279
00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:37,724
You do
the best Jenkins impression.
280
00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:40,030
How was that an impression?
281
00:10:40,161 --> 00:10:42,163
They're both just British.
He barely changed his voice.
282
00:10:42,337 --> 00:10:43,773
This is an impression:
283
00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:46,167
"I am not a crook."
284
00:10:46,341 --> 00:10:48,082
Oh. Is that Trevor?
285
00:10:48,169 --> 00:10:49,213
No, it's Nixon.
286
00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:50,867
Here's one for you:
287
00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:53,304
"How 'bout we all pop out
to the shed?"
288
00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:54,828
- Nigel! Classic!
- Ha!
289
00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:56,307
In one. Well done.
290
00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:57,918
It's not--
Th-They all sound the same!
291
00:10:58,092 --> 00:10:59,963
Are you all right, Peter?
292
00:11:00,137 --> 00:11:02,226
No! I'm not all right.
293
00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:04,054
This is my girl,
and if she's gonna be laughing
294
00:11:04,141 --> 00:11:05,882
at any impressions,
they're gonna be mine!
295
00:11:06,013 --> 00:11:08,189
Oh, my. I'm deeply sorry.
296
00:11:08,319 --> 00:11:10,278
You know what?
297
00:11:10,408 --> 00:11:12,280
Go fife yourself!
298
00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:14,978
I'm sorry that you had to do
299
00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:17,894
this whole, uh,
"come in and talk to HR" thing.
300
00:11:18,025 --> 00:11:19,983
I mean, honestly, I thought
the stripper-gram rocked.
301
00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:22,420
Oh, well, that's very kind
of you, Brettinator.
302
00:11:22,551 --> 00:11:24,074
No, seriously,
303
00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:25,859
no one has the balls to send
a real present anymore.
304
00:11:25,946 --> 00:11:27,904
Hey, so how about McCallister
305
00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:29,863
- with that counter?
- Oh, yeah.
306
00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:31,778
Be honest, what do you think
about that termination fee?
307
00:11:31,908 --> 00:11:34,737
Oh, it was brutal.
308
00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:39,524
Or good, depending on if you are
McCallister or McDaniels,
309
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,962
vis-à-vis the counter.
310
00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:45,792
Hey, you-you guys
want to see me moonwalk?
311
00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:47,663
Uh... hell yeah, we do!
312
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:48,751
Okay.
313
00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:50,535
Thought you'd never ask.
314
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,494
Ooh!
315
00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:54,757
- Ooh!
- Oh!
316
00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:57,412
You're the smooth criminal, MJ.
317
00:11:57,542 --> 00:11:59,457
Ow! ...are you doing?
318
00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:01,808
I am Michael Jackson.
319
00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:03,766
Anthony Valerie from HR.
320
00:12:03,853 --> 00:12:06,290
Okay, so we'll just
leave you guys to it.
321
00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:08,640
Good luck, MJ.
322
00:12:09,685 --> 00:12:11,469
Thank you for coming in,
Mr. Jackson.
323
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:12,906
Oh, no, no, it's no problem.
324
00:12:13,036 --> 00:12:14,342
And I just want to say
right off the bat
325
00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:16,474
that I know that the
stripper-gram was in poor taste,
326
00:12:16,605 --> 00:12:17,998
and it'll never happen again.
327
00:12:18,128 --> 00:12:19,651
Here's the thing.
328
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:21,915
Once we started interviewing
people about the incident,
329
00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:24,004
other complaints emerged
regarding your time here.
330
00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:29,749
Take a seat, Mr. Jackson.
We have a lot to talk about.
331
00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:37,191
October 4th, while referencing
a new Slack headshot
332
00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:39,715
of a female coworker,
you commented,
333
00:12:39,802 --> 00:12:41,761
"Giggity, giggity, giggity."
334
00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:44,415
Which a quick Google search
reveals to be
335
00:12:44,589 --> 00:12:47,244
the horny catchphrase of
a popular animated pervert.
336
00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:50,552
Yeah, I was unaware
of that phrase's origins,
337
00:12:50,682 --> 00:12:53,120
and I deeply apologize for that.
338
00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:54,948
October 10th.
339
00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:57,820
You asked your entire team
to, quote, "send nudes."
340
00:12:57,951 --> 00:13:00,997
You know, I think I-I meant
to type, um, "send news."
341
00:13:01,084 --> 00:13:02,694
You know,
I'm a huge news buff,
342
00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:05,785
but I'm also so busy that
I don't have time to locate it.
343
00:13:05,915 --> 00:13:07,743
It's a difficult combination.
344
00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:09,658
Look, I get it--
boys will be boys,
345
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,225
and this is
the finance industry,
346
00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:13,401
but it's not the '90s.
347
00:13:13,575 --> 00:13:15,316
People don't act
this way anymore.
348
00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:17,100
You're right.
349
00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:19,799
I joined this industry at a time
when things were different,
350
00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:21,278
and-and I've had
trouble adjusting,
351
00:13:21,409 --> 00:13:23,367
but I am committed
to correcting my behavior.
352
00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:25,587
My mother raised
a better man than this.
353
00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:28,372
I hear that.
354
00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:30,766
We're all just out here trying
to make our moms proud, right?
355
00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:33,421
Right? My mom always says,
356
00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:35,249
"You can't make
a perfect khichdi.
357
00:13:35,423 --> 00:13:38,252
You just have to keep tasting it
and trying to make it better."
358
00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:40,210
And that is how I treat my life.
359
00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:42,256
Yeah. That's really good.
360
00:13:42,386 --> 00:13:44,388
And kind of familiar.
Where have I heard that before?
361
00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:46,303
I-I just came up with it.
362
00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:47,652
No, it's
a pretty specific anecdote,
363
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:48,828
and I remember hearing it.
364
00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:50,351
Uh, wait.
365
00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:53,267
Have you ever listened
to The Todd Pod?
366
00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:55,704
I'm not sure.
367
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,794
Huh, this chef said the
exact thing that you just said.
368
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:02,015
Yep, here it is.
Chef Jay Arondekar.
369
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:03,843
Wait a second.
370
00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:05,540
This is clearly you.
371
00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,411
No, not clearly.
372
00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:09,849
What the hell is going on,
Mr. Arondekar?
373
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:14,027
Um... you want
to see me moonwalk?
374
00:14:15,115 --> 00:14:16,943
Well, I got fired.
Or Trevor got fired.
375
00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:18,858
Michael Jackson got fired?
I don't know.
376
00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:20,990
- We're fired.
- Seriously? What happened?
377
00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:22,818
You couldn't get Trevor
off the hook?
378
00:14:22,992 --> 00:14:24,254
No, I managed that all
pretty well.
379
00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:25,690
It wasn't easy.
380
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,170
This guy's got a lot
of complaints about him.
381
00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:28,650
Given the speed
at which you type,
382
00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:30,173
it's actually impressive
383
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:31,827
how prolifically problematic
you manage to be.
384
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:34,090
But then the HR guy
recognized me
385
00:14:34,264 --> 00:14:36,484
from our appearance
on The Todd Pod.
386
00:14:36,658 --> 00:14:38,529
Creepy Todd strikes again.
387
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,531
He was willing to overlook
some light sexual harassment,
388
00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:42,882
but he drew the line
at identity fraud.
389
00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:44,971
So that's it. I'm fired.
390
00:14:45,101 --> 00:14:47,538
Security carried me out
mid-moonwalk.
391
00:14:47,712 --> 00:14:49,192
It was humiliating.
392
00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:51,760
Well, this day has taken a turn.
393
00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:54,632
Michael Jackson's good name
dragged through the mud.
394
00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:56,025
I'm sorry, Jay.
395
00:14:56,112 --> 00:14:57,331
I shouldn't have put you
in that situation.
396
00:14:57,461 --> 00:14:58,854
It's not just that.
397
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:00,464
You lied to me.
398
00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:02,553
There shouldn't be
financial consequences for us
399
00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:04,207
if a ghost loses their job.
400
00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:05,730
Why didn't you just tell me
what was going on?
401
00:15:05,861 --> 00:15:07,123
I was just trying
to protect you.
402
00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:08,690
I didn't want you to worry.
403
00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:10,474
I don't need protecting.
404
00:15:10,648 --> 00:15:12,259
He's right, Sam.
405
00:15:12,389 --> 00:15:14,000
You don't hide secrets like that
from your spouse.
406
00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:16,741
Didn't you keep kind of
a whopper from Beatrice?
407
00:15:16,872 --> 00:15:18,874
The truth is,
I wasn't just protecting you.
408
00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:21,877
I... I was also
protecting myself.
409
00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:23,618
Oh, what does that
even mean, Sam?
410
00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:26,621
I was embarrassed, okay?
411
00:15:26,751 --> 00:15:28,753
You've made so much progress
on the restaurant,
412
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,016
and it's only been a year.
413
00:15:30,103 --> 00:15:31,756
Meanwhile, on my side of things,
414
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,498
we're five years in, and
the B and B is still struggling.
415
00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:36,936
Yeah, you're mad at me.
416
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:39,373
Well, I get it.
That makes two of us.
417
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:47,163
- So...
- So?
418
00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:51,254
I think it's possible
that you were right.
419
00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:52,473
A little louder.
420
00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:53,735
You were right.
421
00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:55,955
It bugged me.
422
00:15:56,042 --> 00:15:58,174
Even though I know you're not
gonna do anything with Baxter.
423
00:15:58,305 --> 00:15:59,393
You aren't, are you?
424
00:15:59,523 --> 00:16:00,481
No.
425
00:16:00,611 --> 00:16:03,005
Okay, good.
426
00:16:03,136 --> 00:16:06,487
Look, neither of us
did anything technically wrong
427
00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:08,880
spending time
with Donna or Baxter,
428
00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:10,795
but when you're in
a relationship, you have to
429
00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:12,493
consider how it's gonna make
the other person feel.
430
00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:14,495
I-I get that now. I do.
431
00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:17,280
And don't worry,
I won't go to Saint Lucia again.
432
00:16:17,454 --> 00:16:18,629
Thank you, Pete.
433
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:19,848
Or Stockholm.
434
00:16:19,935 --> 00:16:21,589
Or Banff. Or Denver.
435
00:16:21,763 --> 00:16:23,504
- Pete.
- Sorry.
436
00:16:23,678 --> 00:16:26,159
I went on a bit of a tear when
I first discovered I could roam.
437
00:16:26,246 --> 00:16:27,421
This was way before
we were together.
438
00:16:27,595 --> 00:16:29,075
It's just kind of like,
everywhere I go,
439
00:16:29,205 --> 00:16:31,164
I'm the new ghost,
and you know how that is.
440
00:16:31,338 --> 00:16:32,992
- Oh, my God.
- But here's the thing.
441
00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:35,081
Yes, I can go
anywhere in the world,
442
00:16:35,255 --> 00:16:38,301
but there's nowhere I'd rather
be than right here with you.
443
00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:40,260
Oh, Pete.
444
00:16:42,914 --> 00:16:45,569
Hey, y-you didn't really think
445
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:48,094
any of Baxter's impressions
were good, did you?
446
00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:50,357
Let it go.
447
00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:51,880
It just gets me steamed.
448
00:16:52,054 --> 00:16:55,275
I mean, it's an art form!
You got to respect it!
449
00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:58,234
Sam, I just want to apologize.
450
00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:00,410
I know I put you
in a really tough spot.
451
00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:03,065
I just wish that there was
something that I could do.
452
00:17:03,239 --> 00:17:05,502
Don't worry about it.
You were just trying to help.
453
00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:08,853
I shouldn't be in a position
where I needed your help.
454
00:17:08,984 --> 00:17:11,030
It's my fault
I can't run my own business.
455
00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:12,814
Look, Samantha,
I know you're struggling,
456
00:17:12,988 --> 00:17:14,903
but you're gonna
figure this out.
457
00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:16,426
We believe in you.
458
00:17:16,557 --> 00:17:18,037
And when you do,
459
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,560
I think you're gonna
look back at this time
460
00:17:19,734 --> 00:17:21,344
with a lot of fondness.
461
00:17:21,475 --> 00:17:22,258
What do you mean?
462
00:17:22,432 --> 00:17:23,999
This time, right now,
463
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,219
while you're grinding it out
464
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:29,483
and-and living
in that uncertainty,
465
00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:31,833
I know it doesn't feel like it,
but that's the good stuff.
466
00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:33,008
He's right.
467
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:34,444
Having a goal, having a purpose,
468
00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:36,229
like, that's such
a big part of life.
469
00:17:36,403 --> 00:17:38,448
And I miss that.
470
00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:40,450
Also eating.
That was good.
471
00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:44,106
Many times,
so-called "overnight success"
472
00:17:44,237 --> 00:17:46,935
only come after
years of failure.
473
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,893
That's true. He's right, Sam.
474
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:52,680
This actually embarrassing
for Thor to admit,
475
00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:54,421
but early in Thor's career,
476
00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:58,294
I struggle to even kill
just one Dane.
477
00:17:58,468 --> 00:18:01,210
But then Thor turn 13,
478
00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:03,256
and blood run like river.
479
00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:05,867
I guess tangentially
that's what we're saying.
480
00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:08,174
Thanks, guys.
481
00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:10,132
Oh, hey, babe.
482
00:18:10,263 --> 00:18:11,873
I was thinking about
what you said before,
483
00:18:12,003 --> 00:18:14,223
and I just want you to know
484
00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:17,661
that there is
no your thing or my thing.
485
00:18:17,835 --> 00:18:20,229
It's all our thing.
486
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,190
He is a keeper.
487
00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:28,542
These kind words
will surely reap kind acts.
488
00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:29,891
Sex, I mean.
489
00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:31,284
There are no sides.
490
00:18:31,414 --> 00:18:34,069
We win as a team,
and we lose as a team.
491
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,289
Besides, there wouldn't be
a restaurant without you.
492
00:18:36,419 --> 00:18:37,855
It was your idea.
493
00:18:37,986 --> 00:18:39,553
I guess it was, huh?
494
00:18:39,683 --> 00:18:40,989
I mean, it was right there.
495
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,991
It wasn't like
she invented calculus.
496
00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:45,211
And we're making real strides
with the B and B.
497
00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:47,778
We got on that prestigious list
of small hotels.
498
00:18:47,909 --> 00:18:50,346
Thanks to the fact the list guy
was a huge cocaine fiend.
499
00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:53,523
And now our bookings are up.
500
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:55,743
I mean, we're about to
turn a corner, I can feel it.
501
00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:58,485
You know, some of the ghosts
were saying
502
00:18:58,615 --> 00:19:00,182
we're actually gonna look back
on this time,
503
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:03,098
on-on the struggle,
and we're gonna miss it.
504
00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:05,274
Sometimes they can be
pretty wise.
505
00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:07,450
I recall one evening,
506
00:19:07,624 --> 00:19:10,758
our wine steward dropped dead
right before a dinner party,
507
00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:15,980
so I was forced to wield
the corkscrew myself.
508
00:19:16,111 --> 00:19:20,681
In many ways, it was the
sweetest wine I've ever tasted.
509
00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:22,726
Some of them struggled
more than others.
510
00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:30,430
Am I crazy or is it, whenever
you're worried about money,
511
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,388
that suddenly
a bunch of bills show up?
512
00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:34,825
No, we can keep complaining
or we can tighten our belts
513
00:19:34,999 --> 00:19:37,001
and do something about it.
514
00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:38,655
Look, you guys are resourceful.
515
00:19:38,742 --> 00:19:40,179
You'll find a way to hustle up
some extra income.
516
00:19:40,309 --> 00:19:41,963
Pete's right.
517
00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:43,834
Your feet are one pumice stone
away from being Web-ready.
518
00:19:43,965 --> 00:19:46,141
Okay, I meant like a bake sale.
My God, Trevor.
519
00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:49,318
Okay, I appreciate everyone's
ideas, but we will handle this.
520
00:19:49,492 --> 00:19:50,928
We're gonna be fine.
521
00:19:51,102 --> 00:19:52,495
Babe, this is
a letter from the IRS.
522
00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:56,107
Apparently, I'm being
investigated for tax evasion
523
00:19:56,195 --> 00:20:00,677
because Michael Jackson hasn't
paid any taxes for two years!
524
00:20:00,764 --> 00:20:02,853
What? Trevor, you didn't
pay your taxes?
525
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:05,116
I'm a ghost! I don't use
any government services.
526
00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:06,640
Also, Isaac told me
I didn't have to.
527
00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:08,511
He said it was taxation
without representation.
528
00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:11,384
Yes, Sam, please tell Jay
that his nonpayment
529
00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:13,821
stands on
firm philosophical grounds.
530
00:20:13,951 --> 00:20:16,432
We are so screwed!
531
00:20:16,563 --> 00:20:19,000
Uh, where exactly is Trevor
in the room?
532
00:20:19,130 --> 00:20:20,610
He's on the couch,
on my other side.
533
00:20:20,741 --> 00:20:23,874
Good. I want to make sure
I address this directly to him.
534
00:20:25,963 --> 00:20:29,576
Trevor, I forgive you.
535
00:20:29,706 --> 00:20:30,925
Ah.
536
00:20:31,055 --> 00:20:32,579
Right after I do this.
537
00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:44,112
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
538
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,636
and TOYOTA.
539
00:20:46,810 --> 00:20:49,770
Captioned by
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